I wonder what a mother do feel in her heart when she realizes that her child hates her so much. I was engagingly foolish as a child that I later understood that which she felt deep in their heart- only now that I am older.
Years ago when I was still a kid, each time my mama takes me to the market we turned out laughingstocks in the crowd. Whenever she comes around to pick me up from school, she turned out offensive as other children of my age mate sighs in disgust of her presence.
Time back when I look at the scars on her face, I wished she was never my mum. I wish she was never the one to bring me forth into this world of daily discrimination. The pain I received daily from my pairs, the segregation, and the gossips. The condemnation from my pals, their perception and daily anthem. These all made me hated her so much because I felt like the only child in the whole wide world with an ugly mother.
Well, time has made me wise; for as a child, I was foolish. I can’t believe she had endured this pain- an elongated pain she kept for so long deep in the ooze of her heart. A woman who struggled to preserve my love; a woman who sold her own beauty for my safety.
She sat me down one cold night and said with a smiling face,
“My dear daughter, years ago when you were a baby; you were left alone in the house for a while. I only left the house for three minutes to get your clothes. But before I could return, the house has been engulfed by a wild flame of fire. The flame was rising higher, and I thought I would never kiss you again. I screamed and call out to the neighbours for help that I lost my voice and couldn’t call any longer. Your dad’s departure from this world was still fresh in my memory. I only have you. There was no one to fold my fears. Neither do I have someone to feel my tears.
I didn’t only picked up a blanket soaked in water, but also faith, courage, and most of all, love. I have loved you all my life. I moved in, picked you up and wrapped us both in the blanket. As the flame increased, I pulled out and wrapped you twice. This step I took left this scars on my face.
Dear, I never wished you pain for you are all that matter to me. I didn’t mean to hurt you with my looks but I can’t let out of my side. You might not be able to comprehend this but I have to let you know. You grew up not in my belly but in my heart and each new day, I will keep on loving you the more.”
As she concluded the story of that ugly day, non-ceasing tears rolled down my squeezed chick. It was only now that I could notice the scars on her arms as well. Even though she didn’t mention it, I believe that despite the flame on her arms, she didn’t let go of me. How I wish I knew this long before now, I wouldn’t have caused my mama more pain.
Her face might look so ugly and scary, she’s but the reason I still had my breath. And now, I can see a light- a light in the abyss of other’s darkness. Now I see this profound joy and happiness; only but in the smile on my mother’s face.
Story Source: Sermon from Pastor Chris Oyakhilome