At that point where nothing else matters,

I heard my name from a distance.

This whisper runs down my spine to say;

“I could be whatsoever I want to be if I believe.”

For then were a condition, and now the situation.

Then was an endless song of eco to the vast horizon.

 

What if I could fly?

Would that have change the fact that I was born an orphan?

 

My childhood was ensnared by anger, pain and guilt,

That I rained down course on those that bought me my first breath.

My eyes have seen so many; my mouth couldn’t say pain and anger.

From one tribulation to another, from nothing into little-little,

And back again to the scratch at the domain of emptiness:

A solitude where I wished had never been.

 

I travelled in grace from place to places, even as a young lad;

Just to get a thing or two to satisfy the enemies in my tommy.

I was cuddled by dirt in winter, protected by nature in springtime.

I only had a place to go; that place where hope led me.

It was that place where a wish never seems to reside.

If I had my way, I would have stolen all the available time.

And be born the time when Michael Jackson was born.

 

I had been screaming in silence, but no one could see the tears.

What more can a falling tree say if not to call for support.

 

At long last, I reached a junction were choices were not available.

I stopped breathing even before I jumped off the bridge.

Then, a sound pushed forth into my ears,

Thereafter, an empty whisper said to me;

“What if I don’t die today, would there be another tomorrow?”

Then my tears died out silence of my heart beats.

There has always been tomorrow, but now I could see it clearly.

I open my mouth to draw in air,

Then my heart started pumping one again, even lighter.

I realize that I was a foolish fool.

I had to endure all this while till this moment,

A moment where I assumed that all was lost.

The moment ‘now’ was like the same ‘yesterday’ a day ago.

I crushed down the self for the sake of beliefs in ‘if’.

I threw all hopes out for the sake of others.

 

 

9Japencils

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